If the various past British High Commissioner’s in Cyprus were a pop band and their Cyprus policy an album, what do you reckon the New Musical Express (NME) would have made of the present High Commissioner’s recent interview with Cyprus today?
Here goes (apologies to NME):
“Vinyl is back! Yes, any HMV branches still open on Britain’s high streets can once again supply the vinyl album of your choice. Vinyl recordings are fine, that is unless the ‘needle’ gets stuck in a groove (kerplonk, kerplonk). One particular non-charting flop is especially prone to this annoying deficiency. Unsurprisingly titled Stuck in the Groove, by a band called The High Commissioners (the HCs), it is especially popular in Whitehall and Westminster, but sells little elsewhere. First released in 1963 and re-mastered in 1974, in both its guises, this album has a uniquely repetitive style, often referred to as the ‘Cyprus Blues’ .
In other words it goes on forever, never changes its tune and generally has a comforting sameness to it (especially for a succession of the HCs’ lead singers who have warbled ‘the same old song’ since ’74). It’s a dreadful shame that it becomes most interesting only when the needle gets stuck, which it never fails to do. At least at this point, it does acquire some rhythm.”
Come on High Commissioner (Mr Lillie), you have to admit it: since 1974 (if not before) the British Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) Cyprus policy has not budged one little bit. It doesn’t matter how many times the Cyprus talks crash into the same brick wall; it doesn’t matter how many failed attempts to create “a bizonal, bicommunal federation with political equality” (yawn) there are, the good old FCO sticks with the belief “we think that is the only viable solution”.
For more see Cyprus Today... In shops or on PressReader.
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